Sunday, April 7, 2019

Back to the Future: Welcome Back to 'The Six-Pack of Suck', the All-St. Paul edition

Greetings, fellow damaged Wild fanbase. It's been a long while since I have felt compelled to write in this format; however, the crappy season that has just concluded (with YET another 'thud' in Dallas) begs me to pull the ol' 'Six-Pack' out of the vault for your perusal and, well, putting off your lunch.

This is a special edition of the "Six-Pack': all of the losses mentioned below happened right in Downtown St. Paul. Not two or three time zones away. Right here, in front of all of the Wild faithful, we saw this season disintegrate, right in front of our very eyes. Let's face it; when all was said and done, two words screamed out of the mouths of the Xcel Energy Center crowds:

WE SUCK.

So, with that as a base for our frustrations, let's reminisce in how the Wild blew their season right out their collective ...-----...

Game 1: vs. Buffalo, Nov. 17. Wild hold a 2-1 lead on the then-hot Sabres (having won 9 in a row at that point). Rasmus Dahlin tied it up with 7:02 left in the 3rd, then ex-Wild Jason Pominville struck back at the team that let him go with 90 seconds remaining in regulation to win it for the Sabres, who went on to win a few more games after that. For the Wild? A harbinger of things to come...

Game 2: vs. Arizona, Nov. 27. This post-Thanksgiving turkey of a game allowed the Coyotes to come from a 3-1 deficit with 3 third-period goals, two of which from Josh Archibald, in a 5:32 span to blow down the Wild's house of cards. Mind you, the 3 'Yotes goals came through on only 7 shots. This Arizona game would haunt the Wild until the final Sunday of the season, when the 'Yotes trampled the Wild 4-0 in Glendale, Az., snuffing out the Wild's playoff hopes.

Game 3: Santa's Lump of Coal came to the Wild, in the form of a 2-1 Overtime loss to the Dallas Stars, when Alexander Radulov scores with :10 left in OT. 10 (bleeping) seconds! You can't hang on for 10 more seconds? Of course, the fact that this game had to GO to OT should have panicked the Wild, who haven't exactly embraced the extra session in their history. Devan Dubnyk's 'giveup' of the short side shot was another harbinger of things to come. Merry Christmas, everyone, be sure to watch your step on the way out...

Game 4: Motor City Mayhem: Jan. 12 vs. Detroit. With the Wild leading 2-1 following a Nino Niederreiter (remember HIM??) power-play goal, that's when two of the most familiar last names in Wild history -- Vanek and Bertuzzi -- took over.

Thomas Vanek (who the Wild are still paying for against their salary cap, after they terminated his contract) scored twice to take the lead at the end of two periods. Then, Tyler Bertuzzi (the nephew of Todd, everyone's favorite Wild foil) scored his second and third goals of the night, to preserve the victory for Detroit. The Red Wings were a prime example of the Wild's 'Play up -- or, down -- to the level of the opposition' theory of team engagement. It burned them frequently this past season, but rarely to this level.

And then, there was the ultimate 'quit game'...

Game 5: The Devil(s) made them do it: Feb. 15 vs. New Jersey. Since when do you lose when you score FOUR goals in the first 28 minutes? This Wild team somehow found a way to do it, as the Devils stormed back in the last half of the game, allowing this pig to go into OT. In the OT, Kyle Palmieri takes the puck away from a surprised Dubnyk, and quickly passes to Nico Hischier, who puts the Devils (and Devils goalie Cory Schneider, who had not won in the previous 453 calendar days) in the win column. The Wild? That would be the 3rd of another 5-game loss string; 4 of those 5 would be at home.

Game 6: 'Ryan Johansen Night': Mar. 25, vs. Nashville. With their backs to the wall, the Wild did what got them to that point so far this season: Fail to score even once at home. Johansen's shorthanded tally following another errant Kevin Fiala pass (way too many of those, no?) and Johansen's wrister, as no one covered him in the high slot doomed the Wild, who only won two more games all season. In fact, the Wild managed to lose all 4 games vs. the Predators, while being out-scored 13-8.

Dishonorable mention to the following:

Oct. 6. Home opener vs. Vegas; Max Pacioretty scores with 1:31 left in the 3rd to tie the game. Eric Haula ends it in the shootout. Ugh.

Nov. 13 vs. Washington: A good old fashioned dismantling by the defending Cup champs. Ended the Wild's 5-wins-in-7-games winning streak.

Dec. 18 vs. San Jose: Whitewash City. A 4-0 'clean sheet' by the Sharks. Logan Couture 2 goals.

Jan 17 vs. Anaheim: Against the lowest of the low in the Western Conference, Team 'Crash and Burn' (the Wild) stops the Ducks' losing streak.

Feb. 12 vs. Philadelphia: Ahead 3-1 8 minutes into the second period, the Flyers come back with 4 unanswered in the next 23 minutes to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

Mar. 14 vs. Dallas: when Joel L'Esperance scores on you, you should be embarrassed beyond belief. The beginning of the end had even the most optimistic Wild fans booing after this pig ended.


I really can't summarize this season properly in this blog context; suffice it to say, the Wild have a lot of work to do to regain the trust of the fan base. Getting rid of the 'Our Ice' ad campaign would be a start. This campaign really has NO shelf life. Shut it down, and get on with life. On to the future...