Time to rededicate the Popcorn Machine?

With his diminished play and soon-to-be expiring contract, this blogger asks if it's time to rename the Minnesota Wild press box popcorn machine at Xcel Energy Center after uber-underachiever Dany Heatley

Have we Minnesota Wild fans found the next human stalagmite (a.k.a. Martin Skoula)? Another Filip Kuba stand-around human pylon?

We just may have.

With his woeful offensive output and $7.5M cap hit, Dany Heatley just may be the next Wild player needing to learn how to make popcorn in the Al Shaver press box at Xcel Energy Center. The only bright spot (if it is that) is that his contract expires at the end of this 2013-2014 season, which may make 'Heater' attractive to a team on the rebuild.

Like, maybe the Buffalo Sabres, or Dallas Stars, or any team not based in Pittsburgh in the Metropolitan Division, or San Jose Sharks (but keep Marty Havlat, will you? Thanks.)

Heatley is a boat anchor on the Wild speedboat, a slow, plodding forward who's best days are well in the rear view mirror, who's attributes are marred by his lack of compete level, inability to find open space, and just flat out bad timing when in the offensive zone.

Saturday night, he was the third best defenseman the Florida Panthers (another team needing a rebuild) had, blocking two shots (one a near-sure-goal) from Mikael Granlund in the third period of the Wild's 2-1 shootout loss to the lowly Panthers, who are still looking up at nearly everyone else in the Eastern Conference.

Heatley has become more of a liability every time he steps onto the ice. A former 50-goal scorer, gifted with great hands, he hasn't used them like he has wanted to in the last two seasons. He should have received a compliance buyout last summer, but since he was injured in an end-of-game scrum in San Jose last April, Heatley ended the season on injured reserve, and according to the terms of the new CBA, compliance buyouts could not be tendered to players on IR.

And now, the Wild are paying for that injury. And how. Talk about paying it forward; the fact that Heatley is not having success to justify that massive contract is hamstringing the Wild, whose anemic offense has only scored 5 goals in the last four games, going 1-2-1 on a four-game Eastern road trip which, based on the current overall talent level of the Wild, they should have gone no worse than 3-1.

So what to do? Heatley has become the single largest liability the Wild have. And one of the toughest to deal with, as his massive contract precludes any type of a major deal. The NHL would immediately throw up red flags at any type of a 'salary dump' deal. The other team in any Heatley trade would as quickly incur the wrath of their own fans, as this albatross of a forward plays the schedule out at half-speed. Or slower.

For all those Ottawa fans who have booed Heatley over the years (he wanted out of Ottawa, and got his wish) for not being a Senator, and the San Jose fans (when they aren't beating each other up) who also boo Heatley when he returns to NorCal, the Wild would probably say 'If you want him, you can HAVE him. Cheap.'

Peyton Place, meet 317 Washington St., St. Paul. As that's what Dany Heatley has made his hockey life in Wild country.

It's amazing what one man can do...

Minnesota Wild start 2013 free agency season with a trade and a big Bang

This is almost geeting too eerie, isn't it, folks? Fourth of July weekend, everyone's out celebrating and then...

BOOM! Once again, here comes GM Chuck Fletcher and the Wild, marching across the local media landscape like Sherman thru Georgia, with another 'I can't believe he did THAT'-type of free agency blockbuster.

Well, the master of July hockey fireworks did it again last week, as the Wild, after trading away restricted free agent Cal Clutterbuck to the Islanders for Nino Niederreiter, cleared out veterans Matt Cullen and Pierre-Marc Bouchard, both of whose contracts were expiring, and, via trade with Winnipeg, Devin Setoguchi, then picked up ex-Vancouver Canuck (and Florida Panther) Keith Ballard, and then, shortly after 6:00 PM Friday night, Fletcher turns around and drops 'the Big one' on Wild fans, by signing the NHL's Public Enemy No. 1, uber-pest forward Matt Cooke, who was an unrestricted free agent after not being re-signed by the Pittsburgh Penguins.

What to make of all this movement? Of all this upheaval and change? Of the NHL's all-time cheap-shot king, making Minnesota his in-season home for the next three seasons, at $2.5M per?

The jury has just only begun to deliberate. Not all the facts are in, either.

We just don't know which Matt Cooke will actually show up at the 'X' in September: the one who, supposedly 'reformed', played as a servicable winger on the Penguins' 3rd line for five seasons; or the 'love-to-hate' player, who was along with Jarkko Ruutu (now with Ottawa). Cooke and Ruutu were, at least in their Vancouver years, two of the most despised players in hockey, along with Todd 'Big Bert' Bertuzzi.

Both Fletcher and Head Coach Mike Yeo had Cooke in Pittsburgh during their pre-Wild tenures, and they both swear up and down that Cooke has reformed his game, that he's not all about the cheap hits and the after-the-whistle stickwork anymore. But, for players and fans alike, old habits are hard to break. And there's the images, such as from 2003, when Matt Johnson took a stick butt-end to the groin from Cooke, and then, Cooke ran, precipitating a fight which spilled over into the stands at then-GM Place (now Rogers Centre).

And, there may be even rumblings that the fun hasn't ended yet, as supposedly Zenon Konopka is being shopped around by the Wild before the pre-season has even started.

So what to think?

Just My Opinion, folks, but... Let's actually see what Cooke does bring to the table in the fall. The cheap stuff aside, the guy does hit, does go into the corners and can score. The Wild need every scorer they can get, and if he happens to play the third line, all the better to spread the goals around. If he can keep his nose clean, and stay out of the post-whistle scrums, he can be a reasonable alternative on a 3rd or 4th line.

According to Russo's depth chart on his 'Russo's Rants' blog, Cooke will play one side with Niederreiter on the other side, and Kyle Brodziak at center. This could be a pretty good third line, with the 6'2" Niederreiter, who has shown he can score at every level of hockey except the NHL, learning defensive skills from the likes of Cooke and Brodziak, both of whom are considered defensive specialists; Brodziak has the big winger on his one side he has never really had on his third line; and Cooke, the hitter, gets to ply his trade with two guys that will probably be there all season, unlike in Pittsburgh, when his linemates routinely stepped up to play alongside both Crosby and Malkin at times last season.

There's a lot to think about, as the Wild plods on thru the rest of the summer, looking for the right combination to take this team towards where we all want them to go. The fans want a winning team, Can the Wild hierarchy say that they have all the tools necessary to get them far in the playoffs on a consistent, year-after-year basis?

Only time will tell for sure.

Aim Low, Boys; It's only the Panthers!

Gutless, putrid, embarrassing Minnesota effort leads to shootout loss, starts lowering the coffin on Wild season

By Wild Road Tripper

The Florida Panthers were given a very special gift for being tonight's participant at Xcel Energy Center.

The gift? Two points in the standings, courtesy of a team that has lost its' will to win a hockey game.

The Minnesota Wild, in true Minnesota fashion, took a two-goal lead into the third period of tonight's game in front of an announced 18,191...and promptly went out and blew the hell out of it. Two Florida goals in just under 11 minutes tied the game in the third period, and then Cory Stillman ended the torture, by a score of 3-2, for the 'Team of 18,000', by finally ending the nightmare with the lone goal of the four-round shootout, a shootout which, in the opinion of this blogger, should rightfully have never even been allowed to happen.

I can go on and on about how there were goals scored, etc., and how Niklas Backstrom would do well to contact an attorney, as he should sue the players in front of him for non-support. Even after both Shane Hnidy (leg) and Brent Burns (hip) left the game due to injury, the Wild still proved they could disappoint.

There were new lows for shots in regulation (9), a tie for overall fewest shots in a game (11), the second time the Wild has taken a two-goal lead into the third period, and so on. But, this is the most telling stat that I could come up with:

There were as many broken sticks (7) as shots on goal (also, 7) until 8:45 remained in the third period. This means there had been 51:15 played, and only seven shots in goal. Seven. Against a Florida Panthers' team of few real stars, and many career 3rd and 4th liners.

This is a classic embarrassment for the Minnesota franchise which vowed to be that much better, on the ice and off, than their other pro counterparts. To play a game like this one, with pretty much your season on the line, against a team which has shown they can be as bad as any in hockey when pushed, in your own building, on regional free TV, when you are in the middle of your season ticket renewal drive, is beyond any possible scope of human comprehension or understanding of how successful businesses draw fans (and, their money, necessary in today's sports landscape of escalating salaries) in the middle of this downturned economy.

As if the Wild needed help alienating any more of their upper-level faithful, most of whom are seeing their season ticket prices raised $5/seat per game, this squad comes out and quite frankly beat themselves this evening. They didn't need the Panthers around to do that.

New Ulm High School would have gladly done the honors, but they were busy next door at the State High School Boys' Hockey banquet at Roy Wilkins Auditorium.

Too bad for the Wild. Because New Ulm would have provided a better challenge...

and if you care to stomach it:

Next Game: at Detroit, Thursday, March 11, 6:30 PM Central (7:30 PM Eastern) Time, Joe Louis Arena. (Wild TV: FSNorth; Detroit TV: FSDetroit; NHL Network-US; XM Radio, Ch. 237)